Before the cinema…
1. The reviews for that are rubbish, why not see … ? Have you actually seen the film? If not, please let me make my own decision before claiming others’ opinions as your own
2. That’s a childish film, why not see a horror film like most people your age? Because I don’t like horror films, and I’d much rather watch a Disney film, where 99% of the audience are actually teenagers/young adults, over a scary film any day
3. Why not just wait for the DVD, cinema tickets are so overpriced! I’d rather spend £7 on a ticket for a film I’d know not to buy than waste £15 on a DVD I’d never watch again.
During the film…
4. Just start the film already! Shush, the 30 minutes of trailers are all part of the cinema experience!
5. Ooh, this part’s good! I understand that you’re still excited from the first time you saw the film, but please try to restrain yourself when you’re thinking of revealing the most important plot twist to the whole audience
6. Have you got any popcorn left? I told you not to eat it all during the trailers!
7. Ok, credits are rolling, let’s go! What?! I need to stay and watch the credits to avoid another ‘Avengers’ mistake and leave before the end videos.
8. Which wouldn’t have happened if you’d let me tell you what the reviews said!
9. So, was it as bad as I said it was going to be? See 1.
10. Was it good? The answer to this can never be simply “yes” or “no”. It has to involve a dissection of every scene before thinking of the film as a whole just to get an idea of how to describe its awesomeness (or not) in just a few words.